my name is bala

…

Everyone who wants to be perceived as sophisticated tries to play Golf. You’ve heard the tales of business deals being worked out over a “round of golf”, or an epiphany that is encountered while in the midst of a pristine and well crafted golf course.

Culturally, -most- Nigerians do not levitate towards golf, probably because it is too stinking hot in our country – maybe that’s why we don’t go to the beach either. Anyways… we (my dad, my brother and I) were aware of the sport, but never paid attention… until Tiger hit the scene. All of a sudden we were inspired, here is a guy, who in some – distant – way is like us. I felt like I could be like him, because I could relate to him.

Do you know what I am talking about? For you it might not be Tiger or Golf, but the principle still applies. Some people can draw us and captivate us and pull us into their circle of influence.

This herd [drove, flock, pack, mob, group, collection] mentality is a significant driving force for we as humans. As much as we do not want to admit it, we are animals who follow, we want to fit in, we want to belong. In times of uncertainty, the easiest thing to do is follow.

…yeah so I tried – and tried and tried – to play golf, and I’m awful at it, but my brother, he is excellent.

Back to Tiger.

All this hoopla about Tiger Woods is crazy, my dad sent me a commentary (below) on the situation.

before we get to the commentary, this is what I think…
I am scared that situations like what Tiger has done will make cheating “more acceptable” or “less wrong” because we all know he will bounce back, he will play some amazing golf, we will forgive him, even make excuses for him, and society keeps herding on.

so yeah… I follow Jesus – he is my role model, because ordinary men FALL, and they fall HARD.

…Tiger Woods isn’t as bad as he could be. But neither is he the role model he appeared to be. He’s not a thief or a murderer. He isn’t an abuser. Tiger is simply a serial adulterer. He enjoys being in the company of a variety of women. Tiger has just this one quirk, one besetting sin, one shortcoming, yet that quirk was the trip wire over which his entire world has come crashing down.

There isn’t a man on the planet who in this sense isn’t Tiger Woods.. There isn’t anything in Tiger that isn’t in you. None of us are as bad as we could be, but the propensity for lust, lying, anger, and unfaithfulness are all there—hidden in a heart that is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. There isn’t any one of us who is not capable, like Tiger, of saying, “It’s only this one time. No harm.”

A moral code can keep the Tiger in you in check for a time. The fear of getting caught is a restraint that keeps most men within the boundaries of their marriage. I’m sure it was that way for Tiger Woods. We have admired him as a man of disciplined perfection. But that discipline, that self-denial, which was so characteristically on display in Tiger’s athletic prowess, failed him with immeasurable consequences in his personal life. When push came to shove, Tiger had a great fall. Discipline, apparently, isn’t enough. …

This excerpt by Paul Edwards who is a regular columnist and the host of “The Paul Edwards Program” heard daily on WLQV in Detroit. Contact Paul at paul@godandculture.com

talk to me…

Yeah… so I was burnt out!!! That is the truth. I can finally admit it to myself.

this is how I got to “burnt out.”

I got into college when I was 16 years old, I worked at a gas station, played rugby, went to school and partied – full-time. I somehow managed to graduate at 20 – my grades were awful. I got a job at Sovereign Bank right out of college. I married the love-of-my-life at 21 after dating for 4 years – and some marry-me-or-else pressure. We get pregnant, at six months pregnant, I had to leave for India to donate my kidney to my mother. I was in India for two months and got back in time for 28 hours of labour and a CRAZY c-section experience. Please stay with me…

so i’m back, nothing in my life is the same, I have this crazy scar, an amazing child, a gorgeous wife, a beautiful home, an awesome job – and a new found appreciation for God almighty.

quick segue… you know for a second I was angry at God that we had to go through with the transplant, but that quickly faded when I realized that He was with us in the midst of the awful process. I met some of the most AMAZING people at the Hospital (CMC Vellore) – I got to give some lessons on (c# .net) web development to their web department, I got to do a redesign of the intranet and code it out – it was fun. And they all came to visit me after the surgery. Even though we were a billion miles away from home, we were NOT ALONE

Can you imagine my universe? I am extremely happy that I could help my mother, but I am in constant pain or discomfort. …my performance at work is not as excellent as it was. And taking care of an infant is no joke – it is hard freaking work!!!

But I have this crazy (semi-destructive) ambition that makes me work – hard – all the time. I’d wake up retarded-ly early in the morning just to catch up on work, I would stay up late so I could keep up with family life. I started running 2 miles every morning to stay in shape, I have to check my blood pressure to make sure everything is functioning properly, I cannot (should not) eat red meat (beef, pork) or drink alcohol…

And I did this for 7 months. I was unhappy at work, …. For the first time in my career, I felt like I was not in control of what was happening to me. My job started to feel more-and-more difficult and suck-y. Things that were once trivial seemed complicated. So … I decided to make a break from having a full-time gig.

Yeah… so I’ve never been happier. Nowadays, I still wake up early, but I take naps during the day (sounds silly, but that makes me happy.) I get to read books again, and I even have the clarity of thought to even write again.

But it’s not all roses… I only make one/third of what I used to these days and money is very tight – and we are hurting. Christmas is going to be on a diet this year. I understand that it might have been somewhat selfish and irresponsible of me to stop receiving a steady paycheck with a family and all, but I am rejuvenated.

I’ve worked – HARD – the past 10 years. If I had kept going it could have been worse – I cannot afford to break down.

So after a month’s break, I am back on the job market, and I cannot wait for the next 10 years…

bring it on…